Beginning of understanding

It is a beautiful moment when you can look back at a difficult time in life and begin to see a small glimpse of the protection that the Lord has placed over you. I can't explain it because I still do not fully understand it myself, but I do know this; The Lord protected me last summer from a path that would have been very devastating had I pursued it much longer. I am thankful for the protection He has provided to me, thankful for the ability to look back now and fully know, with my head and my heart, that I was saved from my own imulsivity.

A thought on hope

"Hope is not a Plan" This was stated spefically in reference to earthquake preparedness training, but it stood out to me as being more....I believe in hope, I hope in the Lord, I hope for the dreams of my heart, I hope for good things, beautiful moments, wonderful friends. Hope is needed, but I think it is possibly just the beginning of something more. To hope is wonderful, but to get what you hope for, takes determination, a plan, and patience. It requires taking chances, falling, failing at times, getting up, an continuing on. It takes experiences to know what works and what doesn't, and the courage to know when to move on, or when to stick it out.
I suppse all of this is just to say, I think I've been full of hope, for a lot of different things, but now is the time to begin building on this hope that has kept me going during the difficult times, and at times has kept me stagnant in the process of getting to where I want to be...

Pray.Submit.Trust.

Anxiety. Heart racing,shakiness, shortness of breath, racing thoughts, floods of tears,flushed cheeks, fear, and lack of sleep. A picture of the last week. It has been building, this anxiety that has now taken over.
I take a breath, I say a prayer, and try to release those things which have a hold on me. Sometimes it works, sometimes, nothing does.
I believe all of this anxiety is for a reason. It must be. It has to be. You see, for some time now, I have needed to move on in a few different areas of my life. I had become safe I suppose; as I think about it, I had given up, have given up. I had given up on pursuing change,had given up on love after foolishly giving my heart to someone who did not want it.I lost my dreams some time ago and it simply has hurt too much to begin considering they just might actually come true.
So, as I live with my anxiety, I am reminded of my Savior, who I imagine experienced anxiety as he knew he was facing His own torture and death. He prayed. He submitted to the Father, and He trusted. I will do the same. I will pray,I will submit, I will trust. And one day, my heart will stop its nonsensical fluttering, my tears will cease to flow, and I will rest again.

These are my favorite things..

Today required a little more effort in looking on the brighter side. As I put my efforts forth to find good things this song came to mind:
Whisker's on kittens, blue satin sashes, snowflakes on nose and eyelashes....
But then I thought, I don't really like blue satin sashes, so this is what I came up with.
whispering a prayer, Puppydog kisses, kittens purring, chocolate pudding, a slight breeze across my face, being warmed by the sun, listening to a compilation CD..

I only drink on Mondays.

I only drink on Mondays...well mostly anyway.. I just like the way it sounds. It makes me think of something Doris Day or Audrey Hepburn would have said if they made movies during the present times, and oh the shoes they would wear...what a fun and lighthearted thought for the beginning of the week :)

An Island Getaway

the beach, rolling green hills, puppies running and playing, friends laughing, raindrops falling..
Two days of this loveliness! And, as we walked and lived and laughed, I realized how, had my plans gone the way I had not long ago prayed and wished it would, I would have missed these moments. I would have missed these friends who have become very dear to me...
So, this day foward, I will remember that His timing is right, His protection, while I may have moments of pain and confusion, is always there. Working, overseeing, and always present should I allow it in my life.
For some reason, while I have been telling myself this, my heart finally was able to hear it...

Of course this face always makes me happy

And who could forget this silly girl:


Today held so many frustrating moments, but there were two specific conversations that proved to lighten my mood.
The first is joke which was shared with me: What does the Bible say about women making coffee? Hebrew.... it took me a minute to get it, but once I did, I laughed out loud :)
My second wonderful conversation of the day included an invitation to spend some time with a little family that I love so much. And the ability to wish the cutest 7 year old happy birthday...

My new project of keeping my eyes out for the truly simple yet beautiful things in life has proven to color my world and add zest to a what seemed to be a colorfuless and bland mindset. It makes me want to have a camera to take pictures of everything I see, every little moment that stands out...it has me perched on the edge of my seat, looking, observing, and sometimes even creating such wonderment.
I have many things to share, little moments from the past few days: an orange and two lemons shared by a thoughtful coworker, making red velevet cupcakes with my sister after an exhausting day at work, and my new beauty products, an ice cream party at work, organizing my closet...these are just a few lovely moments :)

Sunday, what a day...

I truly love Sundays, always have, always will. This one full of lovely moments: breakfast at Starbucks with my sister and puppy, spent the afternoon painting and listening to music, went for a walk. On the walk I saw baby bunnies and a beautiful sunset. The promise spring was in the air :) Later this evening I met a few friends for ice cream and we caught up on life....it was a nice day, full of many little moments!

I must say, my new resolve to find and appreciate the simple and lovely things throughout the day has colored my world in new ways...

Friday I had a long and grueling day at work, but managed to make it to the local farmer's market and purchase two lovely bunches of gerber daisies (which just may be my new favorite flower!)

Saturday afternoon I met a friend who was in town for coffee. I almost didn't make it due to time constraints, but he convinced me by saying he had a suprise for me, and I'm glad he did! I arrived at the coffee shop and saw my suprise....our good friend who lives in Sacremento! It was a wonderful suprise!! There is something to be said about friends who you've known for a long time (the three of us are going on 9 years), they just get you, you know?! My lovely supprise gave me a seashell he had found on the beach that day..

Truly simple

Cupcakes for my coworkers and roasted vegetables...my latest cooking ventures!
I realized today that this blog often strays from its purpose. I want to keep it to remember beautiful moments, small pleasures, kind thoughts, and truly simple things that make life enjoyable. I want to share the small things that would be forgotten if effort were not made to acknowlwdge them. I am making it my mission to have as many of these moments a day as possible....and I would like to share at least one a day in my blog :)

The middle of my story

Life.It has not turned out how I had imagined it would.
I suppose the differences between my dreams and the reality of what is, have been taking a toll lately. I had been patient, trying to follow the path I knew the Lord had me on for a reason. I was hopeful of my dreams turning out. Sure, they were taking longer than I had planned, but I still kept dreaming, hoping, that my life, how I had always imagined it would come true.
I can appreciate a change in plans, but lately its been a bit rough. I am on a path, making a new story, finding new dreams...or at least in the process of trying to.
"The story you write can actually be better than the one you envisioned, but you need to have the right expectations. You have to remain flexible, and you can't expect everything to go perfectly." John C. Maxwell

I am currently reading The Difference Maker by John Maxwell...it has challended my perspective, and quite possibly, lifechanging, bringing a small ray of light :)

time for a change

There is a time for everything. The Bible states this, the Beatles sing about this....there is a time to stay, a time to go. A time to struggle through, and a time to stop struggling and move on.
After a few truly frustrating weeks, having a headache every day for the last three weeks, and finally feeling a lack of support, I had an epiphany of sorts.
Perhaps I was too stubborn and hard headed, but I now realize this: there comes a time when you must move on. You must choose to be true to yourself and choose happiness. this can be said for a few situations in the last year, but for one in particular, the time has come. I am choosing to do something different. I am choosing me, and I am choosing happiness.
I don't like admitting this, though I'm sure its not a complete shock to those who know my heart and know me best. The last year has tried my patience, my spirit has become down trodden, and I have lost hope in the dreams I once had...I lost confidence in myself and my choices.
But now, I am choosing to make a few changes.....May the Lord bless them and lead me in the right direction.

Blank Canvases

A fresh canvas. A new beginning. A reminder of my Savior's love.

I haven't painted in months and months....not that I haven't thought about it, day dreamed about what I would paint, or planned to paint. Until tonight it just hasn't happened. As I painted with Adele, Kings of Leon, Sarah McLaughlin, Rosie Thomas and others in the background I was reminded of how a blank canvas is similar to myself. Every day I am washed clean, blessed with a clean slate and given much promise as to what will be created through me and in me.

There is something truly promising about a blank canvas and paints!

A sense of new-ness and excitment fill the air around me. Not necessarily because of completely outrageous happenings or great romances, but rather, due to wonderful friends, lovely experiences, and a new focus.....I must say, I'm truly thankful.