Beginning of understanding

It is a beautiful moment when you can look back at a difficult time in life and begin to see a small glimpse of the protection that the Lord has placed over you. I can't explain it because I still do not fully understand it myself, but I do know this; The Lord protected me last summer from a path that would have been very devastating had I pursued it much longer. I am thankful for the protection He has provided to me, thankful for the ability to look back now and fully know, with my head and my heart, that I was saved from my own imulsivity.

A thought on hope

"Hope is not a Plan" This was stated spefically in reference to earthquake preparedness training, but it stood out to me as being more....I believe in hope, I hope in the Lord, I hope for the dreams of my heart, I hope for good things, beautiful moments, wonderful friends. Hope is needed, but I think it is possibly just the beginning of something more. To hope is wonderful, but to get what you hope for, takes determination, a plan, and patience. It requires taking chances, falling, failing at times, getting up, an continuing on. It takes experiences to know what works and what doesn't, and the courage to know when to move on, or when to stick it out.
I suppse all of this is just to say, I think I've been full of hope, for a lot of different things, but now is the time to begin building on this hope that has kept me going during the difficult times, and at times has kept me stagnant in the process of getting to where I want to be...

Pray.Submit.Trust.

Anxiety. Heart racing,shakiness, shortness of breath, racing thoughts, floods of tears,flushed cheeks, fear, and lack of sleep. A picture of the last week. It has been building, this anxiety that has now taken over.
I take a breath, I say a prayer, and try to release those things which have a hold on me. Sometimes it works, sometimes, nothing does.
I believe all of this anxiety is for a reason. It must be. It has to be. You see, for some time now, I have needed to move on in a few different areas of my life. I had become safe I suppose; as I think about it, I had given up, have given up. I had given up on pursuing change,had given up on love after foolishly giving my heart to someone who did not want it.I lost my dreams some time ago and it simply has hurt too much to begin considering they just might actually come true.
So, as I live with my anxiety, I am reminded of my Savior, who I imagine experienced anxiety as he knew he was facing His own torture and death. He prayed. He submitted to the Father, and He trusted. I will do the same. I will pray,I will submit, I will trust. And one day, my heart will stop its nonsensical fluttering, my tears will cease to flow, and I will rest again.

These are my favorite things..

Today required a little more effort in looking on the brighter side. As I put my efforts forth to find good things this song came to mind:
Whisker's on kittens, blue satin sashes, snowflakes on nose and eyelashes....
But then I thought, I don't really like blue satin sashes, so this is what I came up with.
whispering a prayer, Puppydog kisses, kittens purring, chocolate pudding, a slight breeze across my face, being warmed by the sun, listening to a compilation CD..

I only drink on Mondays.

I only drink on Mondays...well mostly anyway.. I just like the way it sounds. It makes me think of something Doris Day or Audrey Hepburn would have said if they made movies during the present times, and oh the shoes they would wear...what a fun and lighthearted thought for the beginning of the week :)

An Island Getaway

the beach, rolling green hills, puppies running and playing, friends laughing, raindrops falling..
Two days of this loveliness! And, as we walked and lived and laughed, I realized how, had my plans gone the way I had not long ago prayed and wished it would, I would have missed these moments. I would have missed these friends who have become very dear to me...
So, this day foward, I will remember that His timing is right, His protection, while I may have moments of pain and confusion, is always there. Working, overseeing, and always present should I allow it in my life.
For some reason, while I have been telling myself this, my heart finally was able to hear it...

Of course this face always makes me happy

And who could forget this silly girl:


Today held so many frustrating moments, but there were two specific conversations that proved to lighten my mood.
The first is joke which was shared with me: What does the Bible say about women making coffee? Hebrew.... it took me a minute to get it, but once I did, I laughed out loud :)
My second wonderful conversation of the day included an invitation to spend some time with a little family that I love so much. And the ability to wish the cutest 7 year old happy birthday...